Positive thinking (Techniques).... chapter 4

Understand people and forgive them. Learn to forget which is not worth giving your attention and save yourself from keeping the clatter in your mind.

It is not at all necessary to speak your mind always. Sometimes keeping just quiet helps in dousing a war. It is not a symbol of weakness but wisdom.

Sometime prioritizing your relationships and giving importance likewise also clears the mind.

Organising your work, time and money according to your priority list also helps in achieving peace and relief.

Keep some dreams alive and in pipeline to look forward and move forward in life.

Do what is correct, fair and just, without feeling weak.

Think big. Be happy for/in your goodness, kindness, humbleness and humility.

Learn to ignore small-small provocations. Life energy must be used for bigger things.

Learn to differentiate between Ego and self respect. Discard Ego.

Do not waste your time with that which is not worth it. Be vigilant; time flies and cannot be made up.

Understand that the people with negative traits are the weak ones and therefore can’t stand for long. Empathize.

Remember negative people are weak and prone to illnesses, they do not live longer than optimists.

Visualize an invisible aura around yourself, and visualize every unwanted comment falling outside that aura after hitting it without touching you. You are pure and detached.

When in dilemma, close your eyes, visualize yourself in a meditative pose, then see yourself being lifted above in the sky, now you look down as you see from an aero plane window. Now everything become smaller and insignificant, even your existing problem or issue. Calm yourself and come back with a new perspective to tackle the issue.

Smile and show the radiance of knowledge within you. Enjoy the strong mental power you possess.

Be responsible for yourself, for your every action and reaction, accept every consequence arising out of your action or reaction bravely and gracefully.

Say sorry, if you over-reacted. Forgive yourself afterwards as you are not perfect too.

Always remember that you can’t control the action of other person but you can always control your reaction to that person or situation. So never give your control to other person by falling into their expected outcome of a situation. Rather give a new twist to it now and then, enjoy the scene.

After all there is only one person who can question you and deter you from your path, and that is ‘You’. You are important to yourself.

Learn to give yourself time, assign half an hour daily to meditate and clean unwanted clatter in your mind.

Believe that God is always there to help you, when you are unable to help yourself, like a mother, who always keeps a careful watch on her child when he or she is learning to walk and never lets the child fall.

Smile, sing and be happy and let other people get affected by your charm and cheerfulness.

Try to live a simple, honest and straight life.

Decorate your home, but for yourself and your loved ones.

Do not give much ado to the cleanliness, your comfort is more important. Clean your mind and heart first. Love life and live happily.

If you are a woman, feel like you are the goddess of love. Sprinkle your love on everything you touch.

One last sure shot technique when nothing seems to be working is to close your eyes, fold your hands and with all faith and love in your heart, surrender to God.  Let go of all the worries. Pray genuinely and let the miracle takes its course. An instant relief and peace is guaranteed.

Take care

With love,

Shagun

Positive thinking ........chapter 3..

Let us revise and recall few very important and fundamental principles of nature.

Like no one in this world is perfect. Not even you and me. At the same time every human being has something good to add to the nature. For example a person who is a perfectionist by nature could be a very good architect, an engineer, a designer, therefore an asset to a company. The only thing one has to learn is where and when to exert his or her ability but not all the time. In the same way a manipulative person can be a very good marketer or a politician. The thing to remember is that home is not the right place to use politics. A pessimist person can be a very good critic, and his/her ability to see the worst scenarios in advance can help any project to see its later pitfalls and work accordingly.

Nature/God has given us everything in abundance. It is human weaknesses, such as insecurity for the future means hoarding for self, urge to be powerful than others means dominate, and exploit other peoples unfortunate circumstances to their own use, which has caused such a vast imbalance on our earth.

Never blame others for your situations. If you dig deeper, it might be your weakness in some way (even if it is love) which gives way to others to overpower you, and create a particular scenario. Still it is ultimately your act, your life and your responsibility.

Analyzing and accepting one’s own weak points or traits and improving them, is a courageous and worthwhile act.

An optimist always sees good in people and can use others good points to his/her advantage and ignores the unpleasant traits. He/she understand that we are not born perfect still humans always strive for perfection which is necessary for the constant progress of mankind.

Let us consider few of these techniques which might help us to keep calm and peace.

                                                                                                                 ...... to be continued....

Positive thinking ...chapter 2

First of all one should learn how to deal with negative and selfish people. For this one might have to understand the psyche of selfish behavior. Most of the time, it arises out of insecurity, mistrusting the way of life and false pride in people. Understanding these traits should invoke empathy rather than anger in a wise person.

Negativity exists in people in various kinds and intensity. Some people are either pessimistic or obsessed with perfection by nature. Their imagination leads them to think worst first. This is unfortunate but true as such people are mostly not able to enjoy the beauty as much, as they get engrossed in making odd things even. In a neat and tidy room, they are the first one to notice a piece of unpicked paper, or some dust on the table or a slight wrinkle on a sheet.  They will not be at rest unless they even out all this. This kind of nature is bound to create stress unless they accept the truth that nothing in this world is perfect and learn to ignore their urge to correct everything.  Some people are cunning and shrewd; who believe in manipulating other people, using them to fulfill their own needs and wants. They think themselves too clever and believe that people will not understand their hidden agenda.  This kind of nature in people is cause of stress and intolerable to normal people.  One must always remember that all these personalities are formed eventually with time, as a mixture of their original inborn nature plus the up-bringing they received, and the environment and events they might have been exposed to.

It might be difficult for a simple person to keep their reactions normal in front of such people, but a wise person would understand their psyche, their guilt traps, and their hidden agenda of getting their way through such behavior. Therefore, the best technique is, not to fall in the trap. Keep calm and use various ways, such as reacting in a different way as expected and taking them off guard, which will confuse them and may leave their motive futile. Use a firm, polite and confident tone which again will show your stable and strong mental strength. Show them that you are in your own control by not reacting to their provocations. Sometime showing ignorance and pretending as you did not understand what they are saying helps because such people are never straight forward neither are their communication techniques. Sometimes leaving things loose and hanging, with statements such as “I will see what can be done”… or “will see later”, can also help you to leave from the scene. Leaving the scene and engaging yourself into a worthwhile and fruitful activity is a better way of using your time and being in control.  Counting till ten also helps and distracts you from other person to yourself and give you time to hold your anger and be in control.

Let us revise and recall few very important and fundamental principles of nature.

                                                                                                                           ....to be continued...... 

How to sustain 'positivity' in your life?

How can an optimistic person survive in Negative atmosphere?

It spurted out very normally into an ordinary conversation with one of my friends, but the question really turned out to be thought provoking and haunted me for very long. It led me to the bigger question, how a negative atmosphere is made.  What are the factors which cause stress in human beings?

This also led me to think of few motivational books which always suggest that one should be in the company of positive people, away from those who create a negative environment and cause stress.  Now, how this can even be possible, if those very people are your near and dear ones, which might include your boss, your brother, your mother, someone from your in-laws or even your spouse. One can’t get away from these relationships. You might leave your friend, you may be able to change your job, but if not, then it can cause stress and unhappiness.

You may be able to talk openly without worrying about hurting the ego with your mother, may be with your brother too, but what about the spouse who has been brought up in a different kind of atmosphere? What looks natural to him/her can actually be the cause of stress at home. This can cause stress and unhappiness and disharmony in relationship.

The biggest challenge is how to get away with in-laws, where communication is taken as arguments, an attack on their egos, and as a mark of disrespect. Again one might either be ranked as ‘ill mannered’ if one tries to talk openly about issues or otherwise should suffer silently and suffocate oneself mentally. This can also cause stress and unhappiness and eventually leads the body to acquire various diseases.

Indian society is morally bound by sentimental values, duty based relationships, guilt based, full of expectations from others unlike west world where practicality is supreme. The simple rule is that everyone should be responsible for his/her own life and living, and must make arrangements likewise.

Relationships must always be based on love and not your needs. Although this statement is too idealistic, but at least one can be conscious and strive to achieve such kind of relationships, and have a healthier society.

Anyway, there are also plus points in this structure. The joint family system, if, curtail the freedom, also provide a support system in the time of need. Any relationship could be healthy if only people are able to remove the undue expectations from each other, and be fair in their duties and dealings. The structure of society becomes cause of stress if unbalanced.

Nowadays we are so exposed and aware of the various ways of living, and their positive and negative effects also. We see people running for branded items which are expensive and only meant for showoff. To some extent it might be alright if the intention is to buy quality products, but then I wonder, if people really have that right intension! These people are bound to feel stressed because no honest income will be enough to fulfill showoff desires and also it is a never ending rat race. Therefore, a stress free life has to be a simple life where the requirements are need based and not desire based.

Now we can come back to the original question, which is how to keep your optimism intact and your sanctity secured in a negative environment. 

                                                                                                                              ...to be continued

Blogs puzzle

As if there are not enough questions already walking around in my grey cells time to time... here is another puzzle to solve.. how to make my own blog and maintain it too. Life is a constant puzzle, at least for me. Who am I? What am I doing here on the mother earth planet? What is the point of adding me to already crowded planet. After all I am just an ordinary, average human being like most of the living creatures around just whiling away the given time.. well may be I have a restless mind or spirit or whatever you name it, in the constant search of a satisfying, convincing answer to my existence. If having a beautiful loving home full of love and hugs is what made me worthwhile then yes, I can't deny. Well so what, a buffalo also gives birth, a monkey too.. I have seen monkeys caring for their young ones with full fierce. They carry them on their backs, lick them, play with them.. and if some one else like us try to sneak or came closer to them, the mother takes over and may give you fear for life... so how I make myself differ from my co-mother monkey. ........... Oh God.. see I haven't finished and I pressed Publish by accident... so I really need to practice first... I forgot now what I wanted to convey anyway... so let me start again..