How
can an optimistic person survive in Negative atmosphere?
It spurted out very
normally into an ordinary conversation with one of my friends, but the question
really turned out to be thought provoking and haunted me for very long. It led me
to the bigger question, how a negative atmosphere is made. What are the factors which cause stress in
human beings?
This also led me to think of few motivational books which
always suggest that one should be in the company of positive people, away from
those who create a negative environment and cause stress. Now, how this can even be possible, if those
very people are your near and dear ones, which might include your boss, your
brother, your mother, someone from your in-laws or even your spouse. One can’t
get away from these relationships. You might leave your friend, you may be able
to change your job, but if not, then it can cause stress and unhappiness.
You may be able to
talk openly without worrying about hurting the ego with your mother, may be with
your brother too, but what about the spouse who has been brought up in a
different kind of atmosphere? What looks natural to him/her can actually be the
cause of stress at home. This can cause stress and unhappiness and disharmony
in relationship.
The biggest challenge
is how to get away with in-laws, where communication is taken as arguments, an
attack on their egos, and as a mark of disrespect. Again one might either be
ranked as ‘ill mannered’ if one tries to talk openly about issues or otherwise should
suffer silently and suffocate oneself mentally. This can also cause stress and
unhappiness and eventually leads the body to acquire various diseases.
Indian society is
morally bound by sentimental values, duty based relationships, guilt based,
full of expectations from others unlike west world where practicality is
supreme. The simple rule is that everyone should be responsible for his/her own
life and living, and must make arrangements likewise.
Relationships must
always be based on love and not your needs. Although this statement is too
idealistic, but at least one can be conscious and strive to achieve such kind
of relationships, and have a healthier society.
Anyway, there are
also plus points in this structure. The joint family system, if, curtail the
freedom, also provide a support system in the time of need. Any relationship
could be healthy if only people are able to remove the undue expectations from
each other, and be fair in their duties and dealings. The structure of society
becomes cause of stress if unbalanced.
Nowadays we are so
exposed and aware of the various ways of living, and their positive and
negative effects also. We see people running for branded items which are
expensive and only meant for showoff. To some extent it might be alright if the
intention is to buy quality products, but then I wonder, if people really have that
right intension! These people are bound to feel stressed because no honest
income will be enough to fulfill showoff desires and also it is a never ending
rat race. Therefore, a stress free life has to be a simple life where the
requirements are need based and not desire based.
Now we can come back
to the original question, which is how to keep your optimism intact and your sanctity
secured in a negative environment.
...to be continued
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